Confidence. Game. SWAG. In the dating game, you're gonna need any one of those aforementioned words if you're gonna make it out there in the field. It's bad out there, and in this age of social media and dating apps, gaining a person's attention is getting harder and harder each day. How do you make yourself stand out? How do you keep the person you have once you got got them? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? We have a special guest to help us out with our questions (okay, maybe not the last one). So tune in and listen as there are a lot of mic drops on this episode - particularly cause I'm clumsy - but ALSO because our guest is dropping some KNOWLEDGE up in this place!
"Timid", "tepid", "tame". Every heard these words before? How bout "reserved", "restrictive", "restrained"? Yeah? Cool. Now, ever heard these words used to describe how you are sexually? Yikes. Don't fret, BedLoveBeyond has got you covered. For some reason, when it comes to sex we as a people are very modest. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, but overall we can be quite the bashful bunny when it comes to being venerable in that arena. I'm not talking about getting freaky with strangers & one night stands, but more so long standing relationships and even in marriages (with kids!). We feel, well... "naughty" about being naughty! Huh? How can you not be comfortable with your partner or the person who has pledged to stay with you until they die? Who else would come in line after that for you to go "yeah, okay, I can bring down my wall for this person"? For this ep, we wanted to free and talk about the naughty side of life and some of the things you can get yourself into if you want go that route. Listen in and add some spice in your life!
Solo. Its definition is "a thing done by one person unaccompanied, in particular" but, depending how you look at it, can be taken different ways. Usually solo is looked at negatively. You're by yourself, you're doing this workload alone, there's no one here to comfort you in your sorrows, etc. But now, particularly women, are reclaiming it to be a positive term. Sologamy has been trending for some time and now it's at the forefront as something people might want to consider. Others see it as a cry for help and a look for desperation. Which side of the coin do you fall under? Listen in as Jenn, myself and our special guest Kathy discuss what this whole new wave is.
#87 - Don’t Judge A Profile By Its Selfie?: Would You Shun A Suitor Based On What They Post On Social Media?
Ladies, did someone ever slide in your DM and impress you so much that you just HAD to look at their page? Did you ever do a double take because of what was posted? They were *this close* to getting your number until you saw a chick with her face down ass up on his page. Fellas, you were about to ask for her digits before you saw that their whole wall was about God? Or Feminism? Do these things really raise flags in our eyes or are we just too judgmental? Jennifer and I discuss the in's and outs of this hypothetical. Take a listen, will you?
#86 - Bring Me a Higher Love: Exploring Intimacy Farther then The Physical w/ Relationship Educator Yanni Brown
With dating, especially at the beginning, people tend to rush through the pleasantries and only want get to the "good" part. Not pointing fingers or anything, sex is AWESOME, but is that really the thing we should be focusing on? What happened to being the Tortoise instead of the Hare? What about the slow build? I'm not even talking about foreplay (although that's nice too!). What happened to getting to know a person first? Getting to know the Ins and Outs of them as opposed to just going in and out of them? There are other ways of getting to know a person before you do the horizontal polka. That's where our special guest steps in. Yanni Brown, relationship educator, lets us know the many ways of being intimate before we even get take our clothes off.
In the interest of equality amongst the sexes, it was only fair to have a sequel to Episode 78's "What's the Issue with Today's Man?". After an informative talk with Elliott Katz on the issues of Men not being able to meet Women's standards in dating, it was time to see the other side of the coin and assess the attempts at Love from some women in the dating sphere. Why haven't they been successful in getting a man? Some of the revelations may shock you. I get to the nitty gritty with our guest today who (learning from experience) was more than happy to share some insight on the matter of females missing the mark when it came to love. Tune in to see what was said!
Once upon a time a show declared that Space was the "final frontier". It was THE territory for us to discover, document, and disclose to the masses what was found during the journey of the mission. But, I wonder... is it really the last region left to explore? Sure, Space is MASSIVE and we know very little of it, but there is a place out there everyone will go to eventually that we know even less about. That is the Other Side of Life. Our generation won't get to witness all the wonders of Space, but everyone, one day, will pass and we have yet to tap into any real substance into the realm of the Unknown - though today we had a possible glimpse. In this episode our guest today tells the story of her husband speaking to her from beyond the grave. In his messages he shares what it's like to be on the the Other Side, the meaning (and purpose) of Life, how Heaven handles Evil, and so forth. As we delved into other topics to broaden our infancy of knowledge on the subject, it was at least comforting to know one of the few things that can survive the transference between dimensions is Love. Listen in and enjoy!
#83 - Would You Ever Sleep With A Guy…While Your Man Was Watching In Front of You? Wait, What the CUCK?!
Hi-dee-ho, neighbor! Talk about a topic, eh? What in the world?! But yeah, we went there. It was an episode we wanted to do back in the early days of BLB. After watching an episode of "You're The Worst" about the subject we thought it should be revisited, for the first time. But what say you? Could you have sex with a person while your signficiant other looked on? Weird scenario right? Trust me, I hear you. But there is a culture that does this very thing. Some of them find it even empowering and brings the relationships closer! Who woulda thunk? Could you do it or is it too weird for you? Or maybe, you can't WAIT to do it but don't know how to bring it up to your partner? Now THERE'S a twist! Listen in to see what our answers are!
A couple episodes ago, we had the Millennial on to discuss love in their day & age, and this episode we discuss what's going on in the later years of our lives with the baby boomer. The "Winter" of Life stage, as they say, is the stage where we're no longer in our prime but still have some vigor in us. Our ideal state is to be in our twilight years with the one we promised ourselves to a lifetime ago, but sometimes that might not be the case. Whether through unfortunate circumstances or otherwise, we could be alone in our old age. What is one to do if faced with that possibility? The dating world is not how it once was. It has drasitically changed from the Sadie Hawkins Dance to sliding in someone's DMs. How you do feel they will fare in this new age world of digital pimping & dick pics? Take a listen and see what we discover!
#81 - Being Happy After Heartache: Healing Your Soul and Walking Away (in Your New Soles and Heels!) w/ Author Kim Interdonato
Whatever stage of love you're at (puppy, adolescent, "grown folk", or mature), experiencing heartache can be soul crushing. The loss of Love and the erasure of a future with that person definitely brings a storm cloud of emotions that can make even the strongest willed person quiver with uncertainty about getting better. Whether you dodged a bullet, "it was for the best", or you've convinced yourself you lost "the one", the end result of the relationship doesn't matter. It's what happens after that needs the most focus. Today, we have Kim on the show to talk about how she recovered and why it’s important to be happy after heartbreak and be more alive with life.
“Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not so easy” – Aristotle, 384 B.C.
It's hard to curb your anger when you just want to blurt out your feelings to someone as soon as they cross you. But that rage not only is bad for the relationship, but bad for your health. Join us as Dr. Un explains how to "not speak" in order to get our point across to one another. Also he goes through the minutiae of what our body goes through when we have these explosive outbursts and how these moments can have negative health effects on us.
#79 - Being A Late Bloomer: The Growing Pains & The Wonder Years w/guest “The Rock God of Podcasting” Charles McFall
That awkward moment when everyone around you has done everything (TWICE) and you're just standing there like *DERP*. Welcome to Late Blooming, population YOU. Yup, late blooming can seem like an isolated event. Here you are in your adolescence and your friends are all ahead and 'advanced', talking about things you thought you would only get to experience at 30! It's such a bummer to see your peers (seemingly) so well rounded and mature and you're still twiddling your thumbs in the corner because you haven't been knighted with the fabled "magical mature baton". But what we realize in insight is that there is no baton, and maybe just wasn't your time to mature yet. Everybody goes at a different pace for sure, but at the time life is in a vacuum so you want everything to happen to you now just like your friends. Some are lucky, but some are totally not. Today is one of those stories, with many hurdles and delays to "Bloomdom". The Rock God of Podcasting Charles McFall shares his story of being a late bloomer and overcoming adversity and still being able to achieve what most late bloomers can only hope to accomplish. Strap into your seat, cause you're in for a great show!
Whether it's through song, poetry, spoken word or tweet, women are letting their feelings known about the opposite sex - and it's not good. Time after time another declaration is heard from the masses claiming that men aren't doing their "job" and "real" men are few and far between. Is this claim real? What HAS happened to men and is there a way to fix the problem? Listen as we get to the bottom of this for all (Wo)mankind!
Ahhh, the Millennial. What is there to say that hasn't already been said about this generation of people? Even when we've exhausted ourselves, there's always one more opinion we can't wait to share about how we feel about them. Well, today's different. Today, one of their own has PLENTY to say and tries to school us on how we (the old foagies) fare in Love and how we're doing it WRONG. Hoo boy! You got to listen in and see how this goes down.
#76 - From FWB to You & Me?: Should You Ever Turn Your Situationship Into A Relationship? w/guest Sexologist & Psychotherapist Kristie Overstreet
Things are good with you two. Actually, pretty great. You hang out, talk about everyday shit, and every so often when you're feeling frisky - you two have sex. Because you guys are friends, you know each other. You know what gets her mad, she knows what makes you laugh out loud. With the added layer of sex though, now you guys know each other. She knows what makes you feel masculine, and you know how to make her feel special. Now that's what I call BFF's, right? But, why stop there? I mean, if you guys are great friends and you two have amazing sex... what's to stop from taking the next step? Aren't you basically "together" anyway? What could go wrong? The three of us are gonna hash it out. Tune in and see what we come up with!
Don't give me that face. What? You've never asked yourself that question before? Well, yeah.. it's not the FIRST thing to come to mind when talking about love, sure. But it is something to look back and think on. Do you feel you got enough experience out of life before thinking about taking the big plunge of commitment? I'm not necessarily talking about learning the Kama Sutra front and back, but do you feel you need to have a stage in life where you go through your wild years before settling down and getting that side out of your system? He's another wrench in the mix: What if you feel you missed that opportunity? How does life fare for you now? What do you do? Can you make it up this late in the game? What should you do? Are you scared to settle because you might have that urge down the line? Famed Comedian Patrice O' Neal said you have to womanize before settling down or you'll end up like Tiger Woods and that 'side' of you will come out eventually and we all saw what happened to him. Does he have validity in his statement or is it all hogwash? Sit back and enjoy Jenn & I trying to figure it out!
You heard of them, you might have even experienced one of yourselves, but regardless, we're gonna TALK about 'em. Why do women go to such depths for a "come up"? Thank goodness that this type of behavior is only praised by few and criticized by many. Jenn & I discuss the lengths that some women will go for a pretty penny, and also the lengths guys go to protect themselves from these types of people.
#73 - Interracial Relationships & “The Black Experience”: Should You Marry Someone That May Not Understand Your Struggle? w/guests Sein (from Que4.org’s Hip Hop 101) & his wife, Erica
On Episode 22, we talked about the general tropes of the topic of interracial relationships, but in this episode we go deeper. A video recently made its way across the internet and launched a hot debate all across the World Wide Web and even made its way onto network TV for further debating. Can a white woman ever understand the struggles of her black man? It was a great question posed, but an even greater question to try to answer. On the show is a couple who are no strangers to the topic of race, identity and struggle. It was great listening to their stories and informing us that life, especially for an interracial couple, is anything but just black & white.
#72 - His & Hers…and Then There’s Me, The Other Woman (Pt.2) w/guest Relationship & Communication Coach Jen
The 2nd part we feel was needed because while the 1st part was more of the glitz and glamour and "come up" as a side chick, there are the affairs that much more discreet. Not because of wrong doing or naughtiness, but because of how intimate some of these trysts can be. They can be emotionally rewarding, lovingly passionate, and crushing to the soul all at the same time. Our guest today is a brave soul who wanted to tell us about how a mistress REALLY is, and that it's not so black and white as you may think. Trust us, your mind will more open after this amazing interview.
#71 - His & Hers…and Then There’s Me, The Other Woman (Pt.1) w/guests The Real Side Chicks of Charlotte
Haven't done these in a while but yes, it's a two parter and it's much needed especially for the topic at hand. Side Chick, Mistress, The Other Woman, "Daddy's Friend", however you want to call it, this subject has been on the rise in the past couple of years. From comical memes to network tv, the Side chick is large & in charge. So Jenn & I wanted to get the skinny of the current climate of canoodling is going on these streets. Who better to ask then the hotly anticipated Septuplets making their wat from your ears to your TV screens, The Real Side Chicks of Charlotte. That's right - Brittany, Dianna, Jullisa, Lynette, Shador, Storm, & Tiffany are gonna give you the REAL (just like their show) on how they became side chicks, why being one should be looked at as a positive, and no shame to be gettin' them COINZ. What are you waiting for! Listen up, you might be surprised!