A couple episodes ago, we had the Millennial on to discuss love in their day & age, and this episode we discuss what's going on in the later years of our lives with the baby boomer. The "Winter" of Life stage, as they say, is the stage where we're no longer in our prime but still have some vigor in us. Our ideal state is to be in our twilight years with the one we promised ourselves to a lifetime ago, but sometimes that might not be the case. Whether through unfortunate circumstances or otherwise, we could be alone in our old age. What is one to do if faced with that possibility? The dating world is not how it once was. It has drasitically changed from the Sadie Hawkins Dance to sliding in someone's DMs. How you do feel they will fare in this new age world of digital pimping & dick pics? Take a listen and see what we discover!
#81 - Being Happy After Heartache: Healing Your Soul and Walking Away (in Your New Soles and Heels!) w/ Author Kim Interdonato
Whatever stage of love you're at (puppy, adolescent, "grown folk", or mature), experiencing heartache can be soul crushing. The loss of Love and the erasure of a future with that person definitely brings a storm cloud of emotions that can make even the strongest willed person quiver with uncertainty about getting better. Whether you dodged a bullet, "it was for the best", or you've convinced yourself you lost "the one", the end result of the relationship doesn't matter. It's what happens after that needs the most focus. Today, we have Kim on the show to talk about how she recovered and why it’s important to be happy after heartbreak and be more alive with life.
“Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not so easy” – Aristotle, 384 B.C.
It's hard to curb your anger when you just want to blurt out your feelings to someone as soon as they cross you. But that rage not only is bad for the relationship, but bad for your health. Join us as Dr. Un explains how to "not speak" in order to get our point across to one another. Also he goes through the minutiae of what our body goes through when we have these explosive outbursts and how these moments can have negative health effects on us.
#79 - Being A Late Bloomer: The Growing Pains & The Wonder Years w/guest “The Rock God of Podcasting” Charles McFall
That awkward moment when everyone around you has done everything (TWICE) and you're just standing there like *DERP*. Welcome to Late Blooming, population YOU. Yup, late blooming can seem like an isolated event. Here you are in your adolescence and your friends are all ahead and 'advanced', talking about things you thought you would only get to experience at 30! It's such a bummer to see your peers (seemingly) so well rounded and mature and you're still twiddling your thumbs in the corner because you haven't been knighted with the fabled "magical mature baton". But what we realize in insight is that there is no baton, and maybe just wasn't your time to mature yet. Everybody goes at a different pace for sure, but at the time life is in a vacuum so you want everything to happen to you now just like your friends. Some are lucky, but some are totally not. Today is one of those stories, with many hurdles and delays to "Bloomdom". The Rock God of Podcasting Charles McFall shares his story of being a late bloomer and overcoming adversity and still being able to achieve what most late bloomers can only hope to accomplish. Strap into your seat, cause you're in for a great show!
Whether it's through song, poetry, spoken word or tweet, women are letting their feelings known about the opposite sex - and it's not good. Time after time another declaration is heard from the masses claiming that men aren't doing their "job" and "real" men are few and far between. Is this claim real? What HAS happened to men and is there a way to fix the problem? Listen as we get to the bottom of this for all (Wo)mankind!
Ahhh, the Millennial. What is there to say that hasn't already been said about this generation of people? Even when we've exhausted ourselves, there's always one more opinion we can't wait to share about how we feel about them. Well, today's different. Today, one of their own has PLENTY to say and tries to school us on how we (the old foagies) fare in Love and how we're doing it WRONG. Hoo boy! You got to listen in and see how this goes down.
#76 - From FWB to You & Me?: Should You Ever Turn Your Situationship Into A Relationship? w/guest Sexologist & Psychotherapist Kristie Overstreet
Things are good with you two. Actually, pretty great. You hang out, talk about everyday shit, and every so often when you're feeling frisky - you two have sex. Because you guys are friends, you know each other. You know what gets her mad, she knows what makes you laugh out loud. With the added layer of sex though, now you guys know each other. She knows what makes you feel masculine, and you know how to make her feel special. Now that's what I call BFF's, right? But, why stop there? I mean, if you guys are great friends and you two have amazing sex... what's to stop from taking the next step? Aren't you basically "together" anyway? What could go wrong? The three of us are gonna hash it out. Tune in and see what we come up with!
Don't give me that face. What? You've never asked yourself that question before? Well, yeah.. it's not the FIRST thing to come to mind when talking about love, sure. But it is something to look back and think on. Do you feel you got enough experience out of life before thinking about taking the big plunge of commitment? I'm not necessarily talking about learning the Kama Sutra front and back, but do you feel you need to have a stage in life where you go through your wild years before settling down and getting that side out of your system? He's another wrench in the mix: What if you feel you missed that opportunity? How does life fare for you now? What do you do? Can you make it up this late in the game? What should you do? Are you scared to settle because you might have that urge down the line? Famed Comedian Patrice O' Neal said you have to womanize before settling down or you'll end up like Tiger Woods and that 'side' of you will come out eventually and we all saw what happened to him. Does he have validity in his statement or is it all hogwash? Sit back and enjoy Jenn & I trying to figure it out!
You heard of them, you might have even experienced one of yourselves, but regardless, we're gonna TALK about 'em. Why do women go to such depths for a "come up"? Thank goodness that this type of behavior is only praised by few and criticized by many. Jenn & I discuss the lengths that some women will go for a pretty penny, and also the lengths guys go to protect themselves from these types of people.
#73 - Interracial Relationships & “The Black Experience”: Should You Marry Someone That May Not Understand Your Struggle? w/guests Sein (from Que4.org’s Hip Hop 101) & his wife, Erica
On Episode 22, we talked about the general tropes of the topic of interracial relationships, but in this episode we go deeper. A video recently made its way across the internet and launched a hot debate all across the World Wide Web and even made its way onto network TV for further debating. Can a white woman ever understand the struggles of her black man? It was a great question posed, but an even greater question to try to answer. On the show is a couple who are no strangers to the topic of race, identity and struggle. It was great listening to their stories and informing us that life, especially for an interracial couple, is anything but just black & white.
#72 - His & Hers…and Then There’s Me, The Other Woman (Pt.2) w/guest Relationship & Communication Coach Jen
The 2nd part we feel was needed because while the 1st part was more of the glitz and glamour and "come up" as a side chick, there are the affairs that much more discreet. Not because of wrong doing or naughtiness, but because of how intimate some of these trysts can be. They can be emotionally rewarding, lovingly passionate, and crushing to the soul all at the same time. Our guest today is a brave soul who wanted to tell us about how a mistress REALLY is, and that it's not so black and white as you may think. Trust us, your mind will more open after this amazing interview.
#71 - His & Hers…and Then There’s Me, The Other Woman (Pt.1) w/guests The Real Side Chicks of Charlotte
Haven't done these in a while but yes, it's a two parter and it's much needed especially for the topic at hand. Side Chick, Mistress, The Other Woman, "Daddy's Friend", however you want to call it, this subject has been on the rise in the past couple of years. From comical memes to network tv, the Side chick is large & in charge. So Jenn & I wanted to get the skinny of the current climate of canoodling is going on these streets. Who better to ask then the hotly anticipated Septuplets making their wat from your ears to your TV screens, The Real Side Chicks of Charlotte. That's right - Brittany, Dianna, Jullisa, Lynette, Shador, Storm, & Tiffany are gonna give you the REAL (just like their show) on how they became side chicks, why being one should be looked at as a positive, and no shame to be gettin' them COINZ. What are you waiting for! Listen up, you might be surprised!
Sometimes after a breakup, regardless of how it went down, a piece of us can't help but wonder how the other person is doing now-a-days. It should be expected though; the person did occupy time in our lives so our brain can't help but do a little flashback. But, other times, we actually go and seek what the person is up to. Should we go back to the past or should we just move forward? What "exactly" are we looking for? Closure? Will we know if or when we find it? Will we be prepared for whatever the outcome is or will we regret snooping around? As they say, "Curiosity killed the cat" but what they rarely say is the res of the phrase "satisfaction brought it back." Should we pry to bring satisfaction to ourselves and fulfill the selfish need or just let things be? Can we truly not help ourselves? Take a listen and see what we said!
#69 - What a JERK: A Mass Debate Among Friends w/guests Joseph from Poli Games & ‘That Horror Chic’ Aimee
Are you "Master of your domain?" Are you "Queen of the Castle?" For anybody not familiar with lines from one of the best episodes in television history, this episode we're talking about Masturbation. *BE WARNED PERSONAL FRIENDS OF THE SHOW* You might not want to hear the stuff Jenn & I talk about. You may not want to know us THAT intimately - and that's fine. Just giving you a heads up! But yeah, this topic is an important topic to discuss and we most certainly had the best guests to lighten the mood on such a taboo subject. But there lies the rub. Why is this topic taboo? Everybody does it, right? So why are we afraid to talk about it? Why do stereotypes about it exist? Why is it frown upon that guys do it, but women get praised because "allegedly" there aren't any men who can satisfy her so she has to go it alone? Is Masturbation a sin? Can you masturbation too much? Shout to Joseph from Poli Games & The GuysWeFucked Podcast for inspiration for this episode!
A much needed sequel from Episode 21, we revisit Jenica and her standing after being divorced for a year. We go in depth to see how it's been back in the world as a single woman, how dating has been after being promised a lifetime partner, and also if she even has TIME to date because of all the projects she's involved in! Tune in and listen to the episode now!
You see that your partner has potential but it hasn't fully blossomed yet. Do you wait for the day for it to bloom or should you just leave and find someone else who's already past that stage of development? There's a saying that goes "good things come to those who wait", but can you afford to now a days? Are they worth it?
If you've ever been in love, "I think s/he's the one!" might've been said once or twice in your life. You've probably also said "Man, I THOUGHT they were the one" a couple times too. We've all been there. When the stars align and you think to yourself, "this is it... I found them." Then something happens and *POOF* the stars burst into a million fragments (just like your heart) and your future life ceases to exist. You're stuck in limbo, and you don't know how to move forward, and you will most certainly never love again. That is until someone else comes along and rewrites your purpose in life and makes you believe again. How do you get from point A to B? How does the new 'One' makes us love again? How did we get the previous 'One' sooo WRONG? 3 Trains Of Thought on this episode where I had a 'One', Jenn has had a 'One' & considers her boo THE 'One', and our guest and a 'One' and married his new One. Please take heed as our guest tells his story from downtrodden to triumphant about how he got from one 'One' to the next and how he's never looked back. Also he gives us advice on what to do when we're in our own limbo as well. Take a listen!
We always try and see the good in people and try not to judge people on the chapter we walked in on in their lives. For the most part, it goes well, but sometimes a person's past no longer wants to stay in the past causing a conversation to be had. Depending on what the issue was (or is), do you stay with that person through thick or thin regardless of the issue? Or do you feel you have the right to walk away and be like "nah, I'm good?" Would you feel guilty or feel you are in your right? Tune in and see what we think!
Have you ever been in a situation where a lie was better then telling the truth? Of COURSE.. we ALL have, but was it worth it? Depends doesn't? Where is our moral compass in these situations? Why can't we just let it out? Is it because we care or is the consequence of the truth too much to bear? Today Jenn (She's BACK!) and I discuss this topic to see if whether we should sparing someone's feelings for the betterment of the relationship.
Ah, the Geek. In media, this is someone you never want to be. Shown as meek, awkward, and unattractive, the geek has served to be the laughing stock of the sitcom social spectrum. Unfortunately (whether we want to admit it or not), they are people in real life that are like that. So is there any hope for them to be successful in the dating game like the "Zack Morris'" or the "AC Slater's" of the world, or will their love life come "screeching" to a halt? On this episode is a very special guest (Dr. NerdLove) to talk about the subject and to set the record straight on Geeks and their odds in the dating game.
To quote a song by Rob Thomas, "Here we stand, somewhere in between this moment and the end." You've done all you can but it's time to say goodbye. But how do you? It's one thing to end a relationship when you were on your own, but what about if you lived together? It's bad enough that the relationship is over, but who goes? Who stays? How do you tell the one that you loved to get the hell out? Do you throw their stuff out on the lawn? Do you supervise? Do you give them a timetable to when to get their stuff? How do you move out and move on to green pastures? Have a listen and see what we had to say!
It's one of those things that could define a relationship OR something that just happens within it - which makes it all the more confusing! What are we talking about? Giving a key to your place. For some it's a "next step". But for others it's convenient they don't have to get up when you ring the bell anymore. What say you? Do YOU think it's a "big deal" to get a key to your significant other's place? Or do you feel it's just something you do when you're in a relationship? Or maybe it's something that you don't do AT ALL? Listen in and see what we had to say!
Flirting. Pet names. Cuddle time. Vacations. Quality Time. All awesome things that you and a significant other can do right? But what if you were doing these things with just... a friend? Not a friend with benefits, or a friend that you are trying to see a future with, but nope.. a plain ol friend. Weird, huh? Well, not according to some people who have done it in my & Jenn's lives. Some feel it's completely fine to assign cutesy names, or attend events that our dear to you, or travel across the country with you and still be able to stay platonic with you. Um.. what? Maybe it's cool for some, but it's definitely something that I'm not cool with. Tune in and find out what Jenn and I think!
When is the "right" time to get int a relationship? Is there such a thing? How about if you meet the right person and you're not ready to engage in a budding future? What do you do? Do you fake it til you make it or do you let that go? But what if that person was "The One?" Could you afford letting them slip away? Or do good things come to those to wait? Jennifer and I take a stab at this conundrum and see if we can figure out what the hell to do in this sort of situation.
At times we feel resistant to tell others, let alone our significant others, things about ourselves. It's hard to let people in. Sometimes we like to create perfect caricatures of ourselves to tote around and be our representative instead of revealing the truth to others. Maybe to protect ourselves, or not have the other person run away in embarrassment or fear if they unearth what you're hiding. But is that a healthy way of living? Should you have this tomb of secrets that no one else should know about beside you? Or should you find someone capable of knowing the real you?
"All work and no play..." seems to be more then just a line from a scary movie. It seems to lend itself to a potentially scary LIFE. What is there to life if you don't have someone to share it with, but what is a life if there's nothing in it BUT that person? Damned if you do, damned if you don't? That's one of the many questions posed in this episode. How do we find that balance or do we just say 'fuck it", pick a path and run with it? Tune in to see what Randy, Jennifer, and I have to say.
Would you go out with a person based on the decision of your friend? How much of a sway do your friends have in your relationships? Should they have any at all? Do they have your best interests in mind, or could there be a hidden agenda? Friend or #FOH (F@&K OUTTA Here!)?
#55 - *HAPPY 1YR BLB* / Say What You Need To Say: How to (Properly) Communicate w/guest Miss April Speaks
A is for Apple, B for Bread, Y is for “Why” do we have to go through this over and over again? This ever happen to you? Just misinterpreting what the other person says? Or worse, you're just waiting for the other person to shut up just to get your point across? Listening to reply and not to understand is a big problem in the world today, especially in relationships. Can men & women ever be on the same page? Will we ever just be able to talk straight to each other and do away with the mixed messages and taking things in the wrong way? Find out what Jennifer, Miss April Speaks, and I find to say about the subject in our first ever LiveCast to celebrate our 1st birthday of BedLoveBeyond!!
"Why don't they like me?" "Why do I keep losing partners?" "Why can't we go futher?" "Aren't I worth it?" are all questions that have crossed our minds one point or another during our dating career. All familiar questions we ask ourselves to find out if there's anything "wrong" with us. Whether there is or not is another topic, but the point is, are we really not up to snuff for our partners or are we fooling ourselves into thinking as such? Are we actually good enough and this lull is just a "mind-over-matter" thing or are we delusional and we really need to get some work done internally? Tune in and see what Jennifer & I have to say!
If you're in a relationship, there's no avoiding it, you will eventually have to have "the talk!" It's not a bad thing per se, but most people dread its eventuality. Some feel it ruins the natural flow of things by putting a definitive title on something that is still forming and evolving. Others feel their time might be wasted waiting for someone to make up their mind. Regardless of the reason(s), it's something that people in budding relationships must go through in order to grow.. OR to go. Tune in as Jennifer & I "talk" about why "the talk" is something nobody wants to speak up about.
#52 - Large & in Charge: What’s the “Skinny” on the Rise of the Plus Size? w/ guest (& “Plushy”) model Jenica
With #IAmSexy, #ImNoAngel, & #DropThePlus hashtags (and many more!) making the rounds for the last couple of years, it's no secrect that the Plus Size movement is making itself heard. For much too long, society has only showed us a very narrow window into what can be deemed as "beauty" and the rest of the world is dying to show us that other side. With models like Ashley Graham, Iskra Lawerence, and Tess Holiday leading the charge, these wonder women along with every other plus size person will tell the world that they too are beautiful. Today in bed with us is the lovely Jenica, back from being a guest on Episode 21 about divorce. We haven't heard from her since and BOY you have to see where her life has taken her now! TUNE IN!
#51 - Dating while Living with Your Parents: a “Fuller House”? Or is “Three’s Company”? w/guest Poli Games
Pardon the sitcom puns, but they are very relevant in the dating climate we're in. Is being with your parents as a full adult cool or is it too much? Do you bring your boo into the fold to add to the family, or is 2 parents too many? More and more each year, people are having to make the hard choice and stay with their parents at their home longer then they intended. Some find it embarrassing and feel it's stunting their growth, while others have made the best of their situation by saving up money for future plans. Regardless of your reason, staying at your parents home as a grown up is... trying at times. From not being able to stay out late, to your parents cramping your style with your significant other, to just being in the WAY, your parents tend to be a constant thorn on your side. Today we have a full house with special guest Poli Games and their own unique set-up lends itself perfectly to the topic at hand. Let's get into bed and listen!
#50 - Have you ever “Dodged a Bullet?”: What the “would have been’s” taught us about the Wrong Relationship (and what to look for in the Right One)
That moment after you break up with someone is always hard. Whether you broke it off or they did, it's a big decision to decide that you don't want to continue down the path you were going. Upon reflection of that decision, have you ever wondered "wow, I sure came out on top!" or do you feel that other person might be the one "winning" at life? Has any of your friends come to you telling you about the last person that you messed with and you thanked the lord you ended it before you got that far with them? This episode is all about the "shoulda / coulda / woulda's" and how we believe we might have fared off better without them regardless how of we felt about them at the time.
#49 - Holidays with Your Honey: “Joy to The World?” or “Run, Rudolph, Run!” w/ guests Chris & Weldon from “The Way We See It” Podcast
Yes... it's the end of the year, so "t'is the season"! But which season is it? The season of merriment or decking someone's balls.. i mean halls? Yes, it's that time of the year where everything is amazing and annoying at the very same time and now you have a signficant other right in the thick of it all too. "Where do you go for the Thanksgiving?" "Didn't we go there for Christmas last year?" "Can't we stay home?" "Where are we opening gifts?" "Do we exchange gifts in the first place? We just met..." etc etc... Bah Humbug! But seriously what do you do to settle the winter woes? We have a full house today as Chris & Weldon from "The Way See It Podcast" joins us to discuss what in the hell do we do this holiday.
Time and time again we psych ourselves out over saying those 3 little words. We go crazy because we know what those words mean. I'm not talking about saying it for the 48th time before you hang up the phone with your boo, or after attending your 6th wedding with your significant other. I'm talking about the FIRST time. Saying I love you for the first time is a nerve wracking ordeal because you're essentially laying it out on the line hopefully thinking that person loves you back. But when do we admit to the other about being so venerable? When is the right time to confess our love for them? At dinner? At the supermarket? In bed? After sex? WHEN?! Join Jenn and I as we explore when's the right time to do it (if there is such a thing).